HAHA SO Here I am in 2022... Guess I forgot AGIAN!!! OR I didn't care anymore. What-evers.... guess what Still don't care. I'm bord. My Bff hates me cuz I got a new one.... BUT now he hates me too! WHY!??!?! Well she hates me cuz of him and he hates me cuz he told lies and got called out on them. So Summer sucks without any friends. I have a coffee friend, we always talk about doing stuff but never do, I think she knows we really are just coffee in the a.m. girls. Like, I couldn't hop in the car and go on an adventure with her, or camping. Maybe once in a while we may go shopping at a garage sale or Bailey's.

     It is what it is. My kids want to swim, so do I but I'm having sever self conscience body issues at the moment. No money for Indiana Beach this yr...BUT IF 1st Bff wanted to call up, I'd find away!

     I like being alone, BUT hate being lonely! This is so stupid!

     I think maybe one day, someone will give me what I yearn for, a friend like me to be my friend. I used to daydream about going to Paris with 1st Bff. But This not talking to me crap feels different this time.... And now when I daydream about traveling, It's alone. We always would say, When our husbands die, we will hop on a plane and LIVE! For this family life isn't living, not for me anyways, I do nothing all the time and I dislike my husband, I don't hate him, but I haven't been "in love" with him for YEARS! I don't love him, I don't like him either. I care, but its not love... It's for the kids.... It is what it is! I'm stuck. I'm a looser with no skills, NOR a desire to work outside the home. So I'm STUCK Till he passes. So I wait in limbo for the Lord to call him, Now the Devil may call him for he is Lukewarm and a Christian Poser... I may be a looser, but what ever word is WORSE, that is HIM! Not to mention CREAAPYYYY !!! I used to think and say to ppl, oh that's just how he is, quite and an observer.. NOT!!! NOW I see what a creep he is, I'm even uncomfortable....I saw the red flags, BUT I ignored them, why, Cuz he had a job, and a car and he wasn't ugly. HA! I should have held out for that PLUS, Kind, NON DRINKING!!! Childlike, loves to have fun and not have to be drunk, act or fake anything. AKA  … A BETTER Version of BFF #2 is what I should of held out for!!!  My elbows are falling asleep.... Going to stop writing now..... Ill see ya in 2 more yrs! HAHA... We shall see. #To Death to Us Part! :(